First off– Just don’t do it..
I’m not talking about friendships that you have only had for a few weeks or months, nor am I talking about relationships that have been active for numerous years with children involved. I’m not ignorant to the fact that there different circumstances.
That being said… I am talking about ending long-term friendships for new relationships or even ones that have less time invested. Let me explain:
Joe has a best friend named Rick. They have been best friends for five years now. They hang out frequently and are practically family. Hell and back type deal…right? Joe finds a significant other and starts seeing them. As time goes on, Joe starts drifting away from Rick, rarely contacting him, making plans he cannot keep, bailing on him, e.t.c. Their friendship becomes depleted and broken, ending their friendship in its tracks.
My take is this… If you find someone that you really like, even fall in love with and they tell you that you cannot see your best friend or hang out with them, you are with the wrong person.
Those types of friendships become family.
While I can understand that you may be seeking to start a family with someone, does that really mean you should turn your back on everyone else? Should you walk away from where you come from?
When your children are growing, wouldn’t you want your best friends by your and their side?
Don’t get me wrong, if your friend is a negative mark in your life that would be one thing, but if your significant other tries to push you away from your friends, that generally means they don’t trust you, or they have an insane jealously which in my opinion is unhealthy.
C’mon… Realistically what are you gaining from that sort of relationship? Control or being controlled? Mind games? Being told what you can and can not do for the rest of your life?
Not one single person should have enough power to control you like that. No one.
Hell, if you’re the one stopping your significant other from hanging out with their friends I will be the first to tell you that you’re wrong. You should probably walk away from that relationship because you do not have any trust in your person. You are the cancer–the detriment.
“…But I don’t trust their friends!”
They do though! It’s not your judgement to make. It’s not YOUR place to tell someone who they can and cannot hang out with. Even being their boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, baby daddy/mamma… For all you know, their friends ARE their family. How would you feel if someone were to try and come in between you and your family? Not so good, huh?
The friend (family) that have supported you through the hard times, the devastating times, the times that no one else even knows about should be the one’s you maintain… The ones you keep for eternity.
I’m sorry to say, your significant other may not last forever. Even if they last until you’re old and grey… What happens when they pass? You’ll be left with the kids you raised, yes… But nothing will ever be as special as those friendships that have lasted through hell and back…. The ones that you are sooner to give up for someone new.
Don’t just throw your friendships away for someone that swoops in and knocks you off your feet. Your friends aren’t expendable and one day, they will walk away forever. Find someone that will accept you for who you are.
You don’t need your friends to approve, but you should find someone who accepts all of you—to include your closest friends.