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Paranoia

      Paranoia— Why am I like this? Why is it when good comes to me, it’s followed by angst and worry. Having one without the other is like water without rain. They are one within each other. Paranoia… You are the destructive force to all I hold dear. When your symptoms show, all else fails to matter. The power which you hold over me is stronger than a hurricane destroying a city. I am the city. Only is it when good arrives do you decide to play your game. One in which I am helpless to. it feels as if there is nothing that I can do except lay down and allow you to take over me. Just take me.

Paranoia– The sixth sense is supposed to be one that helps you, not destroys you, yet you seem to be the sixth sense in my life. You destroy me but harm others in your path. You allow no good to come of my life and disallow others to be sincerely loved by me. It’s as if I’m on a lease where once I get too far ahead, you slam me back; Harder every time; my windpipe crushing every time, as my heart does when you call. Why must you call for me now?

Paranoia- Why have you decided to take what good I have now and turn it into something against me. You try to hide within the shadows of the circumstance, but it is you that is the threat. You are the one that harms me so. You are the one that holds me back when I should be propelled forward. You are not the rain, you are the hail that crushes souls. You crush my soul.

Paranoia, can you not let me have this? Why can I not just have the love that I desire, the love in which I deserve. Why must you yank that leash now, as if my lease has expired in the swift snap of your devilish finger. Unhand me from the grasp you laid upon my neck, the lock you’ve put over my heart.

My Host- The hold in which you desire me to let loose is one that you do not understand. I hold the leash of life tightly for your own good. You are ignorant to the world and allow others to run you over like a bull bound by the balls. Your inability to trust is not one created by me but one that was created by yourself. I only tighten my grasp when the threat of destruction is near. It is when this happens that you are the most oblivious.

My Host– How dare you slander me so. IF it were not for me, devastation for which others have created could have been much worse. The destruction which follows is only created by you, and ended by me. When there are questionable circumstances, you turn a blind eye…Not I. If it were not for me, the crushed heart you hold in your chest would be pulverized by now. If it were not for my swift pull of the chain that is I, you would delay the inevitable, destroying yourself further.

My Host— I am only the beacon to evil, not the creator of such. The bad finds you, which gladly takes refuge in your heart, whilst you allow it to overstay its welcome. Have you not learned, if not for me, you would miss every sign of harm? If not for I, your heart would be no longer. You cannot blame a tornado for destroying your home, for you decided to lay the house where it resides. You take the risk by placing your home in an area known to catastrophic storms, yet you build anyway. You build a storm cellar deep underground. Why? Because I made you. Because I know what it takes to protect you, even when you clearly do not.

My Host, Why do you not believe in me? You reach to blame someone beside yourself, but I am not the one to blame, nor are you. You mustn’t seek to hold onto the bad or believe all are evil, but you should embrace me, for I am your unconscious, I am the sense that most do not have. I am your protector–I am your friend.

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